When a Team Member Said They Were Leaving Because of Me

Several years ago, my CEO told me a key member of the company, and my team, was leaving. It wasn’t because of the environment. It wasn’t because they wanted a different role or career path. It was because of me.

That hit me like a punch in the stomach. Not because my ego took a hit, but because I had failed someone on my team so badly that they felt there was no choice but to leave.

Early in my career, a mentor had a belief that when someone resigns, you don’t negotiate. They have usually spent weeks or months making the decision, and trying to undo all of that in a single conversation isn’t realistic. Even if you manage to convince them to stay, the root cause is usually still there and will surface again later. I believed that and had lived by it for years.

But this time was different. The reason for leaving was me, and if I was the problem, then it was my responsibility to fix it. Around the same time, we had a team event planned. After speaking with my CEO, we agreed that going over in person would be the best next step to try to resolve the issue.

When I arrived, I didn’t just meet with them. I met with the whole team. Until then, most of them had only ever seen me as the big, loud guy on a webcam. I spent time with them, listened, and apologised for my shortcomings. I made a commitment to do better and to work on how I was showing up as a leader.

That team member is still with us today. We now meet every fortnight for an hour in one-on-one sessions where we work through challenges and issues before they boil over. That conversation completely changed how I lead.

It made me far more aware of how I come across, especially in a remote environment where tone and intent can easily get lost. It taught me that leadership is not about avoiding uncomfortable truths. It is about facing them directly, owning your part, and doing the work to rebuild trust.